Shameful Otaku Secret!

About Looooooove

I officially stopped blogging Code Geass R2, but this is a blog and why should anything be official? I called it a train wreck and revolts were led against me, but let me make myself clear: the more railroad cars pile up on this bitch, the more I love it.

And this week, Geass returned the love. “Love Attack,” that is! From Milly’s usual overblown heiress-antics to that old Sousuke Sagara chestnut, “mecha used in inappropriate situation,” Geass brings the lulz.

Quick points:

Zero does photo ops now? My, how the mighty have fallen. Note that neither Zero nor Xing Ke’s wives can see over the podiums.

If Sayako doesn’t watch the amount of dates Lulu goes on, he’ll be traveling to the aquarium via the 12 o’clock Nice Boat.

The 6 Million Dollar Orange has the mother of all Geasses. When “Ask A Ninja” reviewed Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (and later again for 3), the Ninja’s big problem was that “everyone is a pirate now.” It’s the same with R2. Everyone has a Geass. But now, someone has an awesome Geass.

Shin is right. Shirley is toast. Sorry, everyone, she’s cute, but that scene at the bottom of the stairs did look like a flag. I could be wrong of course — any perceived foreshadowing could be a red herring, considering that they make this shit up as they go.

But you have to admit, it’d be a good plot point. It’s been a while since LeDouche really had to grasp the human cost of what he does, and heywaitaminute did everyone just forget about Kallen?

Must be nice to be rich. What’s your name? Eh? You’re hired!

You’re a knight of rounds? Hey! Hey! Lulu! Take me to do the illegal stuff! I won’t be a dork, I promise! Geno will be played by Anthony Michael Hall, circa 1985, in the Hollywood remake of Geass.

I think this is the first time Anya has ever looked worried. Apparently, Ashford High is populated by anime bloggers lolicons. No wonder she went for the Unfair Mech Advantage and saddled up Mordred.

Sayako may have gotten LeDouche’s athletic ability wrong, but she got this part right. I laughed. A lot.

This made me think of something. I may have mentioned that the Geass dub (currently airing in the US on Adult Swim on Saturdays) is pure shit. I see no reason why I shouldn’t own the DVDs (other than it comes out at the same time as Gurren Fucking Lagann) but I need to figure out how to wire their audio tracks permanently to the “not shit” channel.

Save for Crispin Freeman as Orange-kun, all the voice actors are positively vomitous. And Johnny Young Bosh, while he’s ok (I actually did like his dub of Itsuki in Haruhi) is just not right. This scene cemented that.

There is no way that one of these mostly-second-rate American dub actors can match Jun Fukuyama’s delivery, which can only be described as Fruity Menace. Or is it Villainously Poncy? I dunno.

Lulucopter.

Actually, Geass 1 dub thingy

Saturday night those of you who are US-based and aren’t too awesome for dubbed cartoons on TV might have noticed that Cartoon Network is airing Code Geass season 1 after the still-trucking Death Note. Personally I really like Adult Swim and I love the fact that they show some of this stuff. They’ve shown some greats in the past: Trigun, Eureka Seven, Cowboy Bebop, Wolf’s Rain, even Satoshi Kon’s Paranoia Agent. Now, follow that with Code Geass. But it got me thinking, and that’s never good.

Why do dubs suck?

I don’t want to get into the dub-vs-sub war, but if I rant on my blog I can at least have a one-way conversation that’s more intelligent than trying to talk about it on 4chan or something OMG DUB SUX. But what makes dubs so hated? Is it the over-localization? Or perhaps Funimation-style “repurposing” the likes of which turn Shin-Chan into an (admittedly hilarious) adult cartoon? Yes, very literal fansubs let you infer based on your pitiful knowledge of moonspeak what might actually be going on, whereas localization forces its interpretation on you. But that doesn’t bother me much. I guess I always knew my own answer, but seeing the dub of Geass, formerly starring Jun Fukuyama, it drove it home: There are five fucking people in this business.

Starring: Crispin Yong Vignogna

Hi! I am tired of hearing your voice!

While watching Spice and Wolf, it’s hard not to wait for Lawrence to make some fruity pose and Mikuru Stare someone into buying his 18,000 suits of armor. Likewise for at least 27 other characters this season. But watching American dubs, that effect is multiplied by a thousandfold.

It would make a great office pool game to bet on how many seconds it takes in the first episode of any show before Crispin Freeman shows up. Saturday night was my first ever viewing of the dub, so I instantly thought two things: One, why wasn’t it Karen instead of Kallen? Two, Johnny Yong Bosch? Fucking really? Wait, three things: BADASS MOTHER.

A matter of octave

But really, as much as you do hear Jun Fukuyama, and as much as his only vocal mannerism seems to be “rampant egotism,” how exactly do you match up his voice with Johnny Yong Bosch? Fabulous Itsuki? (actually, I did like his Itsuki dub, and his Vash role was one of the best, but that just proves my overuse point further…) Either way, it reminds me of how in Evangelion, Shinji was voiced by a girl and her voice was still lower than Spike Spencer’s.

Lots of people tell me when I meet them that I should go into radio. That is a compliment that makes anyone feel more like a man, and sure, I need all the help I can get there — but what I’d really like to break into is anime dubbing. How would I go about this? Not sure. Not interested in going back to school to learn acting, or moving to California, or any of that.

Maybe if I walked into a convention, slapped Dick Cox with a glove and shouted “I demand satisfaction!” in front of his entire legion of blobby fangirls, some ancient rule of duelling would allow me to usurp him. As long as it did something to minimize guys who sound like puberty laughed and sped by them on a moped. I know they’re hard workers, and talented and whatnot, but Crispin Freeman is the only person in dubbing who doesn’t make my ears bleed, and you can’t use him for everything — or can you? I think that was my point.

What the hell happened to this post?

Well, that went long. So, let’s do a one-sentence summary of the show this post was supposedly about — Lelouch convinces Rollo not to kill him by saying he’ll bring C.C. to him, but instead manages to trick him into joining the Black Knights with a little faux love, while simultaneously saving the would-be-executees like Ohgi and Toudou by sliding all the Brits bodily into Chinese Federation territory where they can’t shoot without starting a war.

Also, Pizza Hut sightings: ONE.

I forget already

I’m behind. The only thing I really remember is that I downloaded Eclipse’s version this week, and that they insist on calling Kallen “Karen.” Why? Probably because it’s a person’s name, and that whole thing has bothered me for a long time now. It’s hard to know what those crazy Japanese are thinking sometimes, but I have to say, I’m as tempted to call “Karen” accurate as I am “LeDouche,” in spite of the fact that Eclipse tortured me for two long seasons with the “Margery” spelling.

Recap

Lelouch has to travel for work, and as we all know that can be a difficult proposition, sitting on hotel internet at 1:00 AM trying to download the newest episode of To Love-RU and wondering, just why the fuck am I so interested in seeing the next To Love-RU anyway? He attempts to Geass his way to faster bittorrents, but finds that everyone, hotel maids included, seems to have their own Geass. It’s weird.

Rollo has stolen his sister’s identity, and her girly locket. If he’s an agent of Brittanian intelligence, why is he so hung up on the thing? Is it because everyone in the show is a pansy? I hesitate to say that. After all LeDouche has proved himself to be fairly manly, in spite of his gothy, poncy way of mincing about. Look at the cold-ass way he interacts with the ladies. It’s like he went to C.C.’s School of Romantic Belittling.

Anyway

I got nothing here. I’ll be back home this weekend, at which time you can expect a very special Round Two of Ecchi Deathmatch ‘08, featuring a hardcore special guest off the ropes, and at which time I can hopefully expect to sit on my couch and watch Soul Eater.